And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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