He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
