Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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