Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
