I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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