Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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