small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
