It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
