You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
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