i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
