I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize