I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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