You really coming over, don't trick.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
