How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
