Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
