Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
