picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize