There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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