it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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