i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
