Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he told me I talked like a deaf person
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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