East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Can I color on your dick again?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize