Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
