if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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