Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
