I feel like I'm in dance class right now
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
