cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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