Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
