It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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