and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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