i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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