Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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