waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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