Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize