covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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