a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
