She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
