why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
