idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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