p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.