So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm in love with you.
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.