Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese. (717): Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days? http://tfl.nu/n2pa
  Replies (6) Good night (3435) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck http://tfl.nu/779f
  Replies (33) Good night (1038) Bad night (7393)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string.. http://tfl.nu/4pq8
  Replies (28) Good night (643) Bad night (7202)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (620): He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time. http://tfl.nu/dyz5
  Replies (20) Good night (4967) Bad night (1514)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing. http://tfl.nu/j7tr
  Replies (11) Good night (5740) Bad night (750)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy http://tfl.nu/xs8r
  Replies (7) Good night (2306) Bad night (824)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Naked Twister starts at high noon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): Naked Twister starts at high noon http://tfl.nu/ka5x
  Replies (16) Good night (2116) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will. http://tfl.nu/096i
  Replies (8) Good night (2234) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen http://tfl.nu/714w
  Replies (5) Good night (1040) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun http://tfl.nu/oe4f
  Replies (9) Good night (959) Bad night (1824)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer. http://tfl.nu/wazh
  Replies (5) Good night (1202) Bad night (530)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all. http://tfl.nu/5hyy
  Replies (9) Good night (2037) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?

  (650): View more from California

  There is so much wrong with that sentence

  (707): View more from California

  Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom? (650): There is so much wrong with that sentence (707): Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real http://tfl.nu/wzrt
  Replies (5) Good night (950) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave" http://tfl.nu/7c09
  Replies (1) Good night (985) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine. http://tfl.nu/el1w
  Replies (0) Good night (322) Bad night (142)

Randomize