Texts From Last Night

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  (755): View more from

  How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?

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  (755): How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad? http://tfl.nu/39qf
  Replies (5) Good night (626) Bad night (1272)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...

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  (337): im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face... http://tfl.nu/9q5v
  Replies (16) Good night (740) Bad night (2586)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.

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  (207): I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated. http://tfl.nu/fawe
  Replies (8) Good night (765) Bad night (2241)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens

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  (217): some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens http://tfl.nu/oucj
  Replies (19) Good night (5773) Bad night (677)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?

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  (919): I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...? http://tfl.nu/n1uy
  Replies (183) Good night (5673) Bad night (1165)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot

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  (417): Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot http://tfl.nu/f7xk
  Replies (52) Good night (5504) Bad night (1617)
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  (631): View more from New York

  "too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence

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  (631): "too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence http://tfl.nu/grgx
  Replies (14) Good night (2651) Bad night (664)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice

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  (514): The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice http://tfl.nu/9qpr
  Replies (1) Good night (1902) Bad night (564)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic

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  (701): I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic http://tfl.nu/cgi2
  Replies (3) Good night (2197) Bad night (1662)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.

  (571): View more from Virginia

  just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom

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  (571): Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night. (571): just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom http://tfl.nu/0d08
  Replies (4) Good night (2224) Bad night (707)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing

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  (208): Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing http://tfl.nu/2w9q
  Replies (7) Good night (428) Bad night (860)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.

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  (570): I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight. http://tfl.nu/86fz
  Replies (7) Good night (959) Bad night (513)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.

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  (248): They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror. http://tfl.nu/3vjx
  Replies (2) Good night (1191) Bad night (411)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.

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  (616): Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick. http://tfl.nu/ifwc
  Replies (2) Good night (517) Bad night (299)
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  (209): View more from California

  Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.

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  (209): Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment. http://tfl.nu/nr87
  Replies (2) Good night (626) Bad night (326)

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