It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
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Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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