i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.