you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
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A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
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Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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