I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
