Welp...herpes.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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