Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
