3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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