Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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