At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You need Xanax blowdarts
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Randomize
