So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
