Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
