HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
