i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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