All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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