I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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