I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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