hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
