cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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