you traded sex for a burrito?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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