i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
